Watch out - it's poo thirty!

I have discovered that men on boats talk constantly about poo. Poo jokes galore. You could be talking about existentialism and the subject of poo would turn up. One of the things I learnt is that when you jump off the boat in the morning to take a wake-up swim make sure it's not "poo thirty" - you really don't want to be swimming around when somebody flushes. Conversations along the lines of: I'm going to see if that green curry is still green.... YUK!

This is the face of a man who has just realised that it's that time of day. HAHAHAHAHA.


David, Peter's grandson, was in charge of the bucket (pronounced booket) and sponge jobs on the last trip - him being away meant that Peter was in charge of removing slimy water from the little thingies where you store stuff. This is him stuck in one of those little thingies.

David was known as "Bucket Boy" (sick jokes about cabin boys and buckets of chicken fat there too) but I earnt the name of "toasty girl" as my one and only useful contribution to the whole trip was making toast. It took me a while to understand how to make toast on a boat, as it involves a metal mesh contraption on a gas stove. I looked like a duck that had been given a bicycle for Christmas. Confusion reigns.

We'll be fine once we've past The Cut

So basically, I thought I was going on a nice easy sail - the boys said approx 27 hours to get there, no probs. It was one of the scariest nights of my life, I spent a lot of time in the foetal position hoping to get there intact. It was rough, things broke and it sounded like the boat was going to split in two. We made it safe and sound. If you want the longer "Dickens" blah blah blah version of this little sailing trip, go past the photos


My backpack waiting to go on its next adventure
The arrival of the Twice as Nice
Captain Peter, looking slightly tired but very official nonetheless
Mike not catching fish - that's what happens when you tie your knots after having consumed vast quantities of rum
Doing officially boaty stuff
Me - still unaware of impending doom
Surfing dolphins - were they trying to warn us?
Choppy sea
More dolphins - I obviously misunderstood their cries of "don't go, these two blokes are nutters"
Setting sun - sea still only slightly choppy - all day it's been about 20ish knots
Unable to pee let alone take photos during the scary bit - here are the boys when all is said and done - happy to be alive. Wet but OK
Mike wiped out
Dry and tired Peter - arriving in Utila
Some flavour of pie hill - Pumpkin hill? Blueberry hill? Cherry hill?
That's mainland Honduras in the distance - La Ceiba to be precise
Mike playing with rope - we told him about doing that before - THINGS BREAK!
Mike admiring the view and scratching his bum
Me in shock
Me in shock and happy
Bay of Utila


Looking for somewhere to park - no multi-story boat parks here
La Ceiba in the distance

Safe and sound

And here's the bloody long boring blah blah blah version.

I apologise now for not knowing the right terms about boats - if I make a mistake about describing something or give it the wrong name - bite me.

I stand on the end of the pier full of excitement, I can see the Twice As Nice in the distance coming towards me to pick me up. It's a little choppy - the boys have a little trouble getting close to me.
A dolphin is two feet away from me - I'm completely ecstatic. Mike holds his hand out for me to grab and I jump aboard. It's pretty rough on board but Peter assures me that once we've past the Cut we'll be plain sailing for the rest of the trip - no types of weather anywhere to be found - it's been checked and double checked. He even phoned Graham so that he could keep an eye out too (remind me to slap Graham when he gets back).
For some reason, I have pretty good "sea legs" I just have a tendency to lose my balance once I'm back on land. Just as the sun is starting to go down, we see a really big pod of dolphins, they are surfing and playing round the boat, I'm so happy I completely forget how bumpy the ride is. The day turned to night, the movement of 'lurch left, lurch right, up, down, smash' became normal. Mike made us sandwiches - I ended up wearing mine. All is pretty good, we've had a couple of beers. So far I cannot go inside the boat for longer than 3 minutes without feeling queasy (thanks again Mike for feeding me every couple of hours) so I'm outside all trip, until I finally give in and try to lie down round the centre table - this works OK and I fall asleep. Mike and I are trying to sleep for little stretches of time. I am of course of no use on a boat as I have no idea what is what and how anything works. Peter and I sit up for 4 hours before the moon sets and he explains the instruments, auto-pilot, GPS system etc to me - the moon is out and everything seems pretty OK. Still bumpy though - around 20-24 knots of wind.
The moon sets, not a cloud in the sky, I can see stars and even though there is quite a strong wind, everything seems ok. I go back to lie down and sleep some more. I wake up to chaos. I cannot help the boys. I'm scared. I hide under my airline blanket listening to everything going on outside.
Here is our scenario - we're about 25 miles away from Utila - it's about 3'sh in the morning and Peter has been sailing non-stop for 22 hours. The rubber bump strip that goes round the whole boat came lose during the day - we thought we'd sorted that out but obviously not.
The heavens open, thunder, lightning, driving rain, 40 knot gusts of wind and something is blocking the propeller. Then lightning wipes out the electronics - no more GPS or auto-pilot and cannot get the engine to move due to the strangled propeller, we are going round in circles and the boys are trying to remove whatever is round the propeller. They are getting drenched and Mike is so cold he can no longer feel his hands and his teeth are chattering.
Panic, panic, panic (that's me) - the boys are just dealing with everything and I'm in the foetal position on the sofa.
Having decided with no instruments or motor the best thing to do is stay where we are until first light - which we guess is about 45 minutes away. I black out again. They cut the huge white thing off the propeller that turned out to be the huge black rubber bump strip - steered out of the storm, the instruments came back - we are still alive and on the boat. At this time, I didn't think we'd be either - I know I'm being melodramatic, but remember, it's my first boat trip! I black out again, this time I wake up and Peter is asleep on the next part of the sofa, just this makes me feel that all is safe as he refused to leave the wheel at all for over 24 hours as the sea was so rough.
It's still raining and we' re approaching Utila. I can see it. LAND! I'm so very very happy.
Enough of dramatics, we arrive in the little bay of Utilla, have a beer, clean ourselves up and head to shore in the dinghy for some well deserved breakfast. and lots and lots of beer. that's when the real surprises started :-)

Want to come sailing?

So it's Sunday, my day off and I'm drinking beer with my friends at Crazy Canuks on the beach. I see Peter from Caribbean Villas, meet his friend Mike and then Peter says "I'm sailing to Utila on Friday, want to come?"
Such an innocent little question that led to so much fun!
I immediately said yes, not thinking through the whole plan, such as "who will do my job for me" and "who will look after my pets". Problems looked after on the spot by Pedro and the Tacos. OK, so I'm all fit to go. I pack up my little green backpack, kiss Molly and Basil goodbye and sidle up to the dock on Friday morning, 6.30am ready for my first ever sailing trip. And from that point on is when everything went pants.

A very important work meeting in Caye Caulker

Peter and I seem to have very important things to do - I have since found exactly what all the “very important meetings” means exactly - Peter has been having these “meetings” since I’ve known him. Being now his official Girl Friday, I had to go on one of these meetings.

Here we are, happy on the golf cart to get the boat

Charlie on the backseat - she loves going for a spin

Here is the boat

How do you drive it?

Adonis eat your heart out - Captain Pedro made me weak at the knees (bwahahahahaha)

First Mate Charlie

I was complaining that there were no dolphins - as if on cue - one popped up and played

Caye Caulker in the background

Charlie getting ready to bully dogs on a different Caye

Still one of my favourite boats

I tied it to a log! Captain P was not impressed

Lazy Lizard bar at the split

Swimming at the split and the collapsed seawall

Caye Caulker - all hustle and bustle

Doing very important “meeting” things - now I’ve busted him….”meeting” means eating and drinking….

Ouch - look at that sky, time to leave the island and get back to San Pedro before we get soaked

Being followed by a big grey cloud all the way home

A happy Girl Friday

I promised to not put the photos up concerning lack of mooring skills or make any reference to said lack of skills - oops - sorry

We had no idea how to get Charlie out of the very low boat and onto the very high dock - so Captain Pedro just threw her in the sea

Charlie walking back to the beach

And a good afternoon was had by all, we got back to the office slightly tipsy and slightly sunburnt - that’s always the sign of a good meeting!

Bunch of rubbish

OK - so I read this silly stuff on one of my oooold friend's sites and thought, wow, that was really intersting. Unfortunately, mine is isn't, but here it is anyway!


1. Last beverage- water

2. Last phone call- vegetable lady in Belize City

3.Last text message-Paul and Laurie

4. Last song you listened to- Some old 50's song, radio at Estel's

5. Last time you cried- Monday when I had to put down Pooly dog

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice- unfortunately, yes (I never learn)

7. Been cheated on-yes

8. Kissed someone & regretted it- yep

9. Lost someone special-yes

10. Been depressed-yes

11. Been drunk- yes

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:..

12. Red

13. Black

14. Blue

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: 2009

15. Made new friends- yes

16. Fallen out of love-I suppose yes (got dumped)

17. Laughed until you cried- yes, last night - I have discovered the IT crowd.

18. Met someone who changed you- yes

19. Found out who your true friends were- it's been reconfirmed

20. Found out someone was talking about you- everyone is talking about everyone on this island - not that it really affects me - but I do love it when it's positive

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list- not sure what to answer, weird question. If it's have you snogged one of your mates, then yes (same again, I never learn)

23. How many kids do you want to have- I need a father for them first

24. Do you have any. pets- Molly and Basil - I will end up a crazy cat lady (see previous question!)

25. Do you want to change your name-I dislike one of my middle names, but not enough to change it

26. What did you do for your last birthday- spent the day on a catamaran with a bunch of friends, floating round the Caribbean drinking and snorkeling

27. What time did you wake up today- 8.45

28. What were you doing at midnight last night - working at the bar

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for- Molly's leg to be fixed

30. Last time you saw your father- saw my stepdad about 6 years ago

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life- less pain

32. What are you listening to right now- the whirr of the Coca-Cola fridge in my office and bottles clinking from beer delivery

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom- sure-several of them

34. What's getting on your nerves right now- one of the guests

36. What’s your real name- Cindy Solange Estelle Vigna

37. Relationship Status- I like someone a lot

38. Zodiac sign- Virgo

39. Male or female-female

40. Elementary-my dear Watson

41. Middle School- St Pauls CofE

42. High school- make that Secondary school: The Aschombe

43. Hair color- sort of various bits of brown, red, orange - whatever happens to brown hair when you live in the sun

44. Long or short- long-ish

45. Height-5' 2"

46. Do you have a crush on someone- of course

47. What do you like about yourself- I get knocked down but I get up again ain't nothing gonna keep me down - whatever the words are to the very annoying song.

48. Piercing-ears - yep, closed up though

49. Tattoos- ewwwwwwwwww pain

50. Righty or lefty- righty

FIRSTS:

51. First surgery- 1976-

52. First piercing- ears, 1987

53. First tattoo- never

54. First best friend- Tracy Bowyer, circa 1976

55. First sport you joined- does dancing count?

56. First pet-MewMew (real name Yorky)

57. First vacation- no idea, first one that really stands out is west coast to east coast USA road trip I think 1979

58. First concert- U2 or The Damned

59. First crush- Ed Stones

60. First alcohol drink- in vitro

RIGHT NOW:

61. Eating- nothing

62.Drinking- Illegal Mexican beer left by a guest!

63. I'm about to- jump in the pool

64. Listening to- people in pool

65. Waiting for- someone to surprise me

YOUR FUTURE :

66. Want kids- if it happens it happens, if not, I'll have 43 cats

67. Want to get married- not sure if I can be bothered to go through all that - I like the commitment from someone bit, not sure if marriage is necessary

68. future career- never had one of those!

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

69. First thing you notice- general all over

70. Hugs or kisses- both, I'm demanding

71. Shorter or taller- doesn't matter - although, I'd be pressed to find someone shorter than me (that is of legal age!!)

72. Older or Younger- not fussed really, as long as it's not a huge age gap

73. Romantic or spontaneous- spontaneous

74. Nice smile or nice eyes- both

75. Tattoos or piercings- nope don't like either - sorry dude if you're reading this, I don't mean YOU of course (cough cough)

76. Sensitive or loud- loud to make me appear quieter

77. Hook-up or relationship- one usually leads to the other

HAVE YOU EVER :

79. Kissed a stranger- yes

80. Drank hard liquor- yes

81. Lost glasses/contacts- sunglasses

82. Sex on first date- uh yes

83. Broken someone's heart- yes - but I didn't mean to!

84. Had your own heart broken- yes

85. Been arrested- unbelievable but no - have always talked my way out of it

86. Turned someone down- yes

87. Cried when someone died- yes

88. Liked a friend that is a guy- yep

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

89. Yourself- most of the time

90. Miracles- yes

91. Love at first sight- yes

92. Heaven- as a metaphor yes

93. Santa Claus- YES!

94. Kissing on the first date- lol no! (nobody will believe me)

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

96. Is there one person you want to be with right now- yes

97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time- yes

98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever- no

99. What's the one thing you cannot live without- love

100. Ever wished you could rewind time- yes but no-I love everything, even all the bad shit

Bored? Yeah, me too - off to the pool