Sunday, October 4, 2009

The Two Ronnies - classic British comedy from the '70's

OK, there's loads of you out there that have no idea who the 2 Ronnies were - I grew up with these guys on TV as a kid. They were great. Ronnie Barker delivered this sketch live at top speed - he never flinched, never giggled and the BBC miraculously never received any complaints - his speed of delivery being just too fast.

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss
pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was
knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards.. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies.
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but
the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over
ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked
on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let
him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let
off a fig bart.
"Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince."Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
When the stinking brown cloud had lifted,
he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers.
This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and
a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!

I'm amazed at myself

Today marks the 3 year anniversary of me giving up smoking!
Go me!
I love those cigarettes, yes indeed!

Peter bitched so much at me 3 years ago that I had to stop - all summer he fined me weekly, 5$ then 10, 20, 40, 80, 160.... you get the picture. This morning I reminded him that it had been 3 years - do I hear "congratulations", no, of course not, I hear "and you're still fat".
Thanks for the encouragement Peter!

P.S. my mother got married 44 years ago today at 4pm, but the car got a flat tyre, then the road was closed due to an accident and she nearly missed her wedding!

Calendar girls!

Today is the launch of the calendar for the humane society - it features our friends in our community here in San Pedro with their pets. The calendar costs 20 Belize dollars and raises money for SAGA. Here is the fantastic picture Maya from Conch Creative took of Molly and I.
This is a great picture and I thank her tons (even though I got axed from the calendar - cough cough).